You don't know what you have until it's gone
by Lu78
Summary: Something is troubling Samantha, will she let everyone in.
1. Chapter 1

As dawn began to break over New York City, the shadows found Samantha Spade sitting in Central Park staring at the sky above her. She looked so lost in thought, her brow furrowed in concentration almost. The sky was a multitude of colours, mixing oranges with pinks, purples and blues. It was beautiful, but she never noticed a thing. Life had begun to get tough for the young agent, and here she sat trying to work things out for herself. She would never know if she did or not.

The day started like normal for the agents of the MPU, save for the lateness of one Samantha Spade. It wasn't like her to be late then again did they really know her. Her desk gave nothing away about her private life, her stuff meticulously put away at the end of every shift. Everyone's desk had personal photo's, little accoutrements of their lives dotted over them, but not Samantha. Neat as a pin, would be how she was described.

The elevator pinged and the click of heels was heard as Samantha entered the bullpen, not aware everyone was watching her, especially one blue eyed agent who watched every move she made. She made her way to her desk saying a polite good morning to everyone around her. Sitting at her desk, she booted up her computer before turning to where the rest sat at the conference table. "So what's on the agenda for today?" She asked.

Jack spoke first. "No cases as yet, so I am afraid it's paperwork all round." He paused in his speaking. "On another note Maria and I were wondering if you would all like to join us tonight at O'Sullivan's for a drink?"

"Any special occasion boss?" Danny asked.

"Our fifteenth wedding anniversary." Jack smiled proudly, considering he and his wife were ready to divorce the year previous.

"Congratulations." Martin said. "I'll be there."

"Me too." Danny answered, looking to Samantha to see her reaction. It had been a while since she had last gone on a night out with the team. She kept herself to herself. She and he had gone through the academy together and been best friends ever since, but in the last year she had been shutting herself off from everyone.

"Jack, I'd love to be there." Viv answered, she too looking at Samantha.

"Samantha, you coming?" Jack asked his young agent. He could see she had an inner battle going on. To go or not?

"I can make it for a little bit." She finally answered, seemingly pleasing people.

"Great, it's been an age since we were all out together." Martin spoke first, taking the pressure off everyone else.

Later in the evening Jack stood by the bar at O'Sullivan's watching his friends. Maria was talking to Viv, while Martin and Danny were talking to Marcus, while scoping out all the young females in the vicinity of them. He glanced around to see Samantha standing by the door with her phone glues to her ear almost. She had been on the phone for a while and it didn't look to be a fun call. He slowly walked over to her, hearing only a snippet of her conversation. "So there's no hope?" Her voice sounded shaky. He cleared his throat announcing his presence. She quickly hung up and wiped her face before turning to see him. "Sorry bout that Boss."

"That's okay, as long as you are all right?" He questioned.

"Yep, I'm fine, though I have to leave soon." She looked distant and Jack knew not to push it. They had at least got her here, which was a first in months.

"Sure, I'm just glad you came."

"I'm so glad you and Maria worked things out. You look so right together. I bet the girls are happy?" She was almost talking too fast, but he had heard what she said.

"They are, in fact we are thinking of taking a family vacation soon, just the four of us, something we haven't done in years." His face sparkled as he spoke.

"That will be nice, away from here, anywhere away from here would be nice." He picked up the hostility in her voice. Something was definitely troubling her, just what was it?


	2. Chapter 2

Samantha's co-workers watched her over the next few days and worried even more about her. She seemed to be retreating into herself, even further than before. They may not have known her all that well but they could tell her moods, or at least they thought they could. When cases came in she was more than willing to stay behind and do the paperwork and the credit checks and all the boring mundane stuff that someone always had to do. It wasn't like her not to want to be out in the field. Martin tried to talk to her about it. "Samantha are you all right?"

"Course, why wouldn't I be?" She answered quickly, trying to cover something up.

"It's not like you to want to stay here, you always want to be first out there." He stated.

"Well maybe I'm having an off week." She retorted, harsher than she had meant. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap, just everyone has been on my back about something."

"We're just worried about you, is that allowed?" He smiled at her trying to get a reaction.

"I won't stop you, even if I don't like it." She replied getting back to the work in front of her.

Later in the afternoon Samantha stopped by Jack's office. "What can I do for you Samantha?"

"I have some leave on the books, was wondering if I can take two weeks of it from Friday?" She questioned, not looking into her bosses eyes. Keeping her face trained to the ground.

"Sure, we don't have anything major on. You haven't taken any vacation time in an age so I don't see why not. Going anywhere nice?"

"Maybe." She whispered before leaving his office and getting back to work.

Friday arrived quickly and Samantha packed up and wished her colleagues a nice weekend. "Have a nice vacation Samantha." Martin commented.

"I'll try." She smiled before disappearing from her friend's sight. There was something not quite right about how she had answered him. He was worried about her. Whenever he asked about her vacation she was very vague. Never really telling anything. Hopefully things would be clearer in two weeks when she returned. Martin liked her but was a little too intimidated to ask her out. She always seemed so independent, not needing anyone around her. Hopefully being her friend was enough.


End file.
